Testimonial

I was raised in a Christian home and was very close with my Grandmother. She was the person in my life and in our family that influenced my faith and relationship with God. Her relationship with God was important to her and it became important to me at such a young age. It became routine to wake up every Sunday morning and head to Church. We spent a lot of time together as a family and God was at the center of that relationship. When I was 6 years old, my Grandmother passed away and the rock in our family was gone. My faith and relationship with God was put on hold and we stopped going to Church. I did not step foot into a Church again until I was 12 years old and that was short lived.  At the age of 17, I again decided to restore my faith. It worked in my life for a while, but something happened and as I got older I started being influenced by the wrong things and people. Even though my faith was still there it wasn’t as strong and prominent as it could and should have been.

Sometimes things in your life have to happen in order to truly be who you are and where you need to be. Sometimes you need to experience a tremendous loss in your life to find the strength in the One and only person who willnever forsake you. So here I am. Older, and stronger in my faith than ever before. I am at an odd place in my life right now, but a better place. I am still learning and I still have a lot of uncertainty in my life, but one thing I have learned is that for as much as I have been through and for how much I have lost, I have gained so much more through God and my restoration in faith. People have continuously let me down and have treated me poorly and unfairly. Over the years I have had a dependency in others to fulfill the void in and hole in my life that only God can fulfill. It is through that dependency and attachment that led me away from Him.

Not anymore.

I am older and no longer going to allow people and sin to take over my life. I am no longer going to allow people to lead me away from the one person that loves me more than himself and is there for me and will be there for me more than anyone else will ever be. It is that unconditional love and support that I need in my life. God is that missing piece. The missing piece to the puzzle of Me.  I have my faults and I recognize them. It is a continuous struggle but a struggle that I embrace and make it my mission to be a better person in the eyes of God. I am passionate and when I love, I love with all I have and God loves me in the same way. I am ashamed that I have allowed my relationship to be broken for so long and lost sight of my focus. My eyes are opened and I am ready now more than ever. I have embraced the change and the hurdles that life has thrown in my path. God is on my side and as long as I have Him, I will never be alone.

Since I have restored my faith, I am happier. I see life differently than I did merely a month ago. I acknowledge the things I have gone through and the doors that were closed happened so it could open more doors to a better life. God has never once let me down. He has answered my prayers and pleas numerous times and for that I am thankful. I am not 100% but I am confident that that as long as I am patient and continue to have faith, that I am going to make it out of this life okay.  God put things in my life for a reason and He took the same things out of my life for a better reason. He realized my weaknesses and He realized I was hurting. Something needed to happen in order for me to be finally see things in His way, through His eyes.

My perception of things and life are different. I can’t be bitter any more over the things I can’t change. I can’t let those things define me any more. It was when I relinquished control over those things and turned them completely to God that I felt like a burden had been lifted and I was saved. I was free.  

I am free.

I have a long journey ahead of me. I have an uncertain journey, but there is a light that is guiding me and that light is God.

July 29, 2011