I made a decision early this year to not drag any parts of my past into 2016 and I’ve done pretty well with holding to this commitment. What happens though when your past shows up unexpected?
Before when this would happen all those old feelings I had forgotten and buried would resurface stronger than ever. This would set me back for a few days, sometimes months. Yes, it was this bad. I don’t even like typing it, but this truth has set me free.
The truth is, sometimes confronting our past helps us heal.
We can’t move on from our past if we don’t confront it, all of it. I would seek it on my own terms, and in my own destructive ways. I made myself a victim for almost two years. Until I decided one day I wanted to be stronger.
For the first time in two years I feel at peace. I’ve made peace with my past and I’m at peace with myself because I know God intervened before it was too late. At the time, it felt like a different intervention, it felt like punishment. In hindsight, I know it was God’s way of saying, “This isn’t right for you.” And I believe this now, today, wholeheartedly.
I’m thankful God cared enough about me to pull me out of anything outside His will. Because He cares that much. Believe me when I tell you, He sees, knows, and cares above our understanding.
Without warning, we will sometimes have to confront those hurtful places, not to further wound us, but to remind us how far we’ve come and that we’ve survived.
God is in the details, every detail. This is what gets me through the difficult and awkward moments He confronts me with. It’s not to hurt me, but to remind me of what I’ve been through and I’m still here even when there were moments I didn’t want to be.
And friend, you will too.