This week’s song is “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz.  I ran across this song by accident, but it couldn’t have come at a better time in my life. The lyrics to the song speak volumes on their own without me giving any narrative. However, I felt a narrative was appropriate because I’ve been going through a lot of different emotions lately. It wasn’t just the song that resonated with me, it was the story behind the music and words.

When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There’s so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you’ve come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up

This song is about a relationship and when I read the lyrics, it makes me reflect about my relationship with God.  Some days I feel so worn and beaten on my journey.  To come as far as I have and reflecting about different times in my life, my heart and soul feel worn. Most people when they reach a point of not knowing the direction they should take make the choice to give up.  Giving up is easier than facing the mess and disappointment that is our life. I can remember many times over the past few years when I wanted to be done with life.  One night sitting in my car I contemplated ending it all so I could be set free. I wanted to give up.  Things were rough in my personal life and I didn’t see any light or sign of hope. Then, I decided a year ago to give my life completely to God, giving Him every single beaten piece, despite of uncertainty. In return He gave me everything I could ever hope for;  He gave me love and there I found Jesus.

And when you’re needing your space
To do some navigating
I’ll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

‘Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We’ve got a lot to learn
God knows we’re worth it
No, I won’t give up

For 10 years I spent most of my time navigating through life.  That entire period seems like a memory now but those feelings sometimes resurface. Though now they resurface reminding me how far I’ve come and that God is still here, He’s still good, and is always patient with me. There are times when I fall on my walk, but there He is, waiting, because to Him and no one else, I’m worth it.  We’re worth it.  

I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not
And who I am

Throughout most of my life I have had many people give up on me and walk away.  Easily I was left without hesitation. Rather than blame myself or wallow in self pity, I choose instead to let God use me.  I made the choice to stay grounded in my faith regardless of  the circumstances in my life.  I will be forever changed by the way this person impacted my life and a part of me will never be the same through their absence, but they left. We can’t force people to be in our life who don’t want to be there,  life has to keep moving forward. My relationship with God is at its peak right now because there is so much going on and all of it has taught me how to better use the gifts God has given me and make the difference in others’ lives the way He continues to work in mine. When I wanted to break, fall apart, and burn at the hand of heartache, I chose instead to stand and embrace the life God continues to bless with me with. I’ve learned what I still have, what I won’t settle for, and inevitably who I am because of it.

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up

Giving up is an easy way out, but it’s an out that I choose never to exit. Life is more meaningful to me when I have chosen to stand than fall. It’s been rough, but God is my strength and stronghold forever. Through His love and grace I can’t be shaken. God gave me back my life when I least deserved it,  He gave the world His son.  My rough days fail in comparison to that sacrifice and compassion.

When life gets rough, I look up and remember all that He’s done.