“True love waits”

I’m a 28 year old virgin and it doesn’t bother me.

Sex has never been a big issue with me. I have known where I stand on the issue since 17. I made the decision then that I was going to wait. As I’ve gotten older my views on sex have changed a lot but my stance on sex remains the same.

There are four reasons why I choose to wait to have sex:

#1. Sex scares me.

There, I said it. I’ve always told myself that I would never have sex with someone if I didn’t see myself with them in the long-term. Meaning, we would be together forever and it seems like a desirable goal. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that nothing lasts forever and the fear of giving myself to someone who may very well leave me after I give them that part of me, scares me.  However, the fear doesn’t cripple or prohibit me from future intimacy with the Man I will inevitably spend the rest of my life with. I choose to wait and be intimate with my future husband.

1 Corinthians 6:13

13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

#2. Sex is a gift.

Sex is God’s gift to a husband and wife, to enjoy in the context of marriage to the fullest. The most beautiful gift I can give my future husband is my soul. There is no shame or fear in sex with the Man I one day marry and us“becoming one”. God did not design sex or our bodies to be used and taken advantage of by person to person. He did not design sex for us to cheat ourselves of a life of intimacy with the person God has made specifically for us.

Genesis 2:24-25

24  Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

#3Sex is sacred.

 1 Corinthians 6:18

 18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

Sex isn’t “just sex.” I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard this lie. Any person can easily sleep with someone and not feel anything, but the aftermath has deeper affects. Every time someone has sex with someone they are tearing apart the depths of who they are and who God created them to be. Sexual immorality before marriage rips apart the sacredness of our relationship with Christ and destroys the foundation of future intimacy with our spouse.  While that statement may seem“holier than thou,” I try and think about it from the perspective that every person we are intimate with it outside of marriage, we are opening ourselves up to deeper issues down the road. Trust issues, insecurity, and doubts in future relationships and inevitably in our future marriage. Most of the time sex outside of marriage does not last or work. If it does, it’s rare. 

#4. Making love is worth the wait.

Honestly, I don’t like the word “sex.” I think the word is tossed around too often and has really lost its meaning. While some of us have different stories as to when and how we had sex for the first time, it doesn’t change the way God designed us. The Bible commands us to love each other. The best way I know how to love is to give my body and soul to my future husband. I don’t  want to have sex with him, I want to make love to him.

Granted, I am no angel over here. I have desires just like everyone and I’ve had my share of bad experiences. I’ve been called a prude by people in my past and my last relationship failed because I wouldn’t have sex with him. All these experiences have made me who I am now. I have been tempted. I have been used and I have made poor decisions in my past. I don’t regret the decisions I have made because it’s made me who I am now. A woman of faith.  I know God has me in His right hand and has protected me all along.  He has me waiting for a reason and I know that when I finally do, it will be worth it.

Waiting to make love will be worth it.

I don’t judge any one for having sex outside of marriage. I think God allows everything to happen for a reason and it’s all meant for us to grow closer to Him. In my seasons of waiting, I am choosing to draw closer to Him. While everyone’s experience with sex is different and some weren’t given the choice to wait, God made the decision for me from the beginning.

Waiting has been worth it.

What’s your view on sex?