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  “Self-pity is a death that has no resurrection,a sinkhole from which no rescuing hand can drag you because you have chosen to sink.”

 — Elizabeth Elliot

Self pity starts in the heart.

It begins with the selfish desires of our heart. When our needs and wants aren’t met, we start feeling sorry for ourselves.  Self pity is our own selfishness.  It’s about what we want and not about what God knows we need.

Self pity leads to deeper sorrows.

There is an emptiness in the soul that self pity buries itself and it makes us miserable.  We start looking for comfort and sympathy from others, only to be disappointed when they don’t come through. Self pity grows into not feeling good enough or that no one cares.  We want to be encouraged and supported by others and we want people to be sensitive to our feelings. We want to matter.  Self pity is an emotion that isolates us and keeps us stuck in our pain. Sorrow for self rarely brings about change.

Self pity turns into a pitiful reality.

When we feel sorry for ourselves we aren’t taking responsibility and we create our own reality. We start punishing others for our own self pity, blaming them for the way we are and how we feel which creates more problems.  Self pity becomes our enemy of choice and we allow it to win.

Self pity disappears when we deny ourselves and focus on God.

When we focus on our relationship with God and the things that He desires for our life, we will stop feeling sorry for ourselves and start being grateful. Life is about perspective. We can choose to focus on our selfishness or on God.  God and the life He has given us has no room for self pity and pity parties. He wants us to embrace this life with the right attitude, mind, and heart.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start embracing the self that died for you, selflessly.

We forget that this life isn’t ours, it was never ours to begin with, our life was paid for with a price.  If we truly understood this, if I truly understood this, I would never make the choice of self pity over the life God has given me. The life Jesus died so I could have.

If we come to Jesus, our actual life will be brought into accordance with our real desires and we will cease from the sin of self-pity and actually find joy from God.”

Self pity is a real emotion and it’s an emotion that shouldn’t be ignored.

There is a reason we get to the point where we start feeling sorry for ourselves to begin with. I can’t tell you the number of times I have thrown my own “pity party” in the past two months, but I know why. It’s because my focus and heart haven’t been aligned with God.  I’ve been too focused on myself. Our minds should be centered on God not ourselves.  Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves we should focus on how to make things better for ourselves.

Let God make things better for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

 16-18 Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.