This week’s song is “I Am a Stone” by Demon Hunter. I have been a fan of Demon Hunter since 2005 and every album resonates  with me. I was thankful to be introduced to this album in the middle of the week and this song really touched a chord in me. For the words that I can’t speak .. the words I can’t say … this song says them all.

To say that this week has been hell would be an understatement. Usually I can just let things roll off my back and be okay. I can stand firm on the foundation of my faith and not be shaken. This week though things changed. Things were said and done that I will probably not forget for the rest of my life. Some things in life can’t be forgotten and this … those words won’t be forgotten.

I Fight These Words, I Bite My Tongue
So I Don’t Lie

Though It’s Me to Blame
There is No More Shame in Me
In Me…

I Just Feel the Same
Immune to All This Pain
And the Scars Don’t Write a Song for Me At All…

I Am a Stone, Unaffected
Rain Hell Down Onto Me
Flesh and Bone, Unaffected
Your Fool I Will Not Be

Since Monday I have been under Satan’s attack. It’s been one thing after another. All I could do was stand still as a stone and take it. Satan rained his hell down on me and like I stone I took his attacks. To say I wasn’t affected would be a lie, but I’m used to this. I’m used to being so strong in my faith and then out of no where something happens that steals my light. I’m immune and numb to the pain and there aren’t enough scars that can tell my story.

I blamed myself and I felt like this was my fault and I didn’t trust God enough. All those thoughts from a year ago came raining down on me, feelings of being punished and because of my lack of trust in God’s work, He was punishing me. Satan’s lie.

That Hollow Lie Against My Hope That I Won’t Buy

Then I realized this wasn’t my fault and it has nothing to do with me. This is life. I can choose to stand defeated or I can stand and fight. Because my hope rests in the Lord and I know in my heart He’s with me.  No, Satan, your fool I will not be.  Your hollow lies against my hope in the Lord, I will not buy.

The Waters Rise Above My Eyes
I Will Breathe It In and Go Out With the Tide
And When You Think This is The End
You Will Find Me There Where I Have Always Been

When I felt like this week couldn’t get any worse, it did. I felt like I was drowning and I had no one there to rescue me.  So I sucked it up, I took a breath and I went with it. I took the attacks and when I reached the end, when it was over …  I found God there. I found Him where He’s always been.  Where He’ll always be.

Like a stone by my side.