This week’s song is “Shake It Out” by Florence + The Machine. I first heard this song a couple of months ago and there has always been one line in the song that struck a cord in me. “And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off.” However, the song resonated with me differently this week.

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way

The war between flesh and faith is a constant fight. The enemy’s strength has been on my shoulders for the past two weeks and “I can see no way.”  I have never regretted anything in my life, but this week a lot of resentment and memories from my past collected at the surface. It was a clear to me that as much as I want to let go, there are still parts of my past that I am carrying with me and I’m reliving every darkest moment.

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It’s always darkest before the dawn

A lot of what is going on in my heart and mind, I keep to myself.  Satan wants me to falter, he wants me to cave, but I will not falter or cave. While my issues are here reminding me of where I lack, dawn is coming and these feelings are temporary.

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It’s a fine romance but it’s left me so undone
It’s always darkest before the dawn

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off

It’s a fine romance between flesh and faith, and most of the time, the flesh wins. It’s hard being “strong all the time” with the weight of my past on my back, but I wouldn’t change it. I carry those burdens on my back freely, because I know there is a strength inside me to fight against them. Layer by layer, the weight of my past will shake off and I will be set free.

And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope
It’s a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I’m gonna let it happen to me

I’m ready to suffer the way Christ suffered so I can live. Oddly enough, I feel safe in my suffering, because I know hope is waiting.  My hope is eternal rest in Heaven.  The dance between flesh and faith will continue dancing, but there is hope because it’s always “darkest before the dawn.”

I’m ready to hope.